It is a simple concept. You give a Challenger their own dating show in the style of The Bachelor or Flavor of Love.
This is my fourth attempt at writing this piece. All past iterations ended up being 1000-word tangents on why VH1 dating and competition reality shows of the 00’s were a dominant dynasty, which remains iconic today. Seriously, I’ve written about the Challenge daily for a year, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Challenge as good as I Love Money’s first season, or a Real World anywhere near the level of I Love New York 1 or 2.
With Are You The One’s plummeting ratings Real World on indefinite hiatus, MTV has put forth shows like 90’s House, Stranded with a Million Dollars, Florabama Shore, and Siesta Key (which got a second season, shockingly) to find new feeders for the Challenge. Majority of these shows have failed, while others have been middling at best (being generous). All are re-invented concepts of shows that have already died. Jersey Shore saw its ratings drop significantly the last two seasons, so attempting to recreate it with unfamiliar faces resulted in a show with a limited ceiling no matter how good it would be (it is quite entertaining).
Using a concept such as The Bachelor, where a group of hot singles are vying for the attention of a familiar face, MTV gets both a feeder show for The Challenge and an entertaining reality show as well. The Bachelor has become a major live-tweeting event — MTV would be dumb not to create their own version.
Now, which Challenger would be able to handle a show where singles are competing to date them? That’s what we are going to breakdown.
Johnny Bananas: They will never give him his own show. If they haven’t done it after 10 years, don’t expect them to give Bananas a show outside of the Challenge anytime soon. This probably because his narcissistic personality won’t be able to carry a whole show. Although, putting Bananas on a show with 15 Latinas is an interesting concept.
Jenna Compono: She doesn’t do well with confrontation, and can’t do multiple confessionals in one episode. It’s cute that they get to use a cute Jenna confessional every 10 confessionals — not so much as the star.
Derrick Kosinski: From a social standpoint, he would have the biggest struggle carrying a show. His biggest strength is his taste in women, and his ability to deal with crazy people. Derrick always ends up being friends with some of the craziest girls in Challenge history (Camila, Tonya, etc). The girls could carry the show on Derrick’s season.
Chris Tamburello: Watching fifteen girls deal with CT’s odor would be a phenomenal show. Now that he has entered the dad bod stage of his life, the dream is over.
Kailah Casillas: Not enough people like Kailah, and too many people hate her to make her a viable candidate.
Tony Raines: Being a father of two from different moms, makes Tony a difficult pull. We stack his cast with 15 blondes and see what happens.
Jonna Mannion and Nany Gonzalez: If they hadn’t moved on, they would have been perfect. Both were beautiful girls who were legitimately looking for love.
KellyAnne Judd: She is hot, bubbly, and desirable. She also has a diverse taste in guys. KellyAnne is also super into dogs, so maybe we could add that to the show.
Do you know what Cory is good at? Having sex and playing girls. It’s obvious Cory is not looking to settle down. What he is looking for is hooking up with as many hot chicks as possible. We can call his show either “Friend with Benefits” or “Cory in the House”. The best part about Cory being on the show, is that he will 100% have sex with multiple girls. Hunter and Nelson will be on the show as Cory’s posse, who date the girls he eliminates.
Tori Deal & Jordan Wiseley
These two are not an official couple. They are friends with benefits who, in many ways, are the same person in terms of goals. They don’t want to Challenge stars. Jordan is an aspiring actor and model, while Tori is a musician and performer. Their focus is on the next step. However, they would jump at the chance to have their own shows. Add in the x-factor — that Tori and Jordan are incredibly sexual people. On their show, the focus will be on finding the perfect third wheel for their weird relationship. One week Tori will give out elimination roses, and Jordan will do it the next week. Has there been a television show called Threesome? Is that too overt?
Cara Maria Sorbello
A Cara Maria dating show might be a difficult sell because most people, outside of her devoted fans, do not like Cara Maria. However, she is a beautiful girl who would bring in a diverse group of guys (her type is pretty boys and pirates). CT and her cousin Jamie would be on the show to give Cara emotional support. Best part of this show is that the challenges to win dates with Cara would be recreations of Cara’s most memorable Challenge moments. In one episode you’ll have to get into a verbal argument with Aneesa, another you will hold your breath in a tank of coca cola while wearing a white dress, and for one of the final missions the players will have to wrestle Abram for three minutes.
You’re telling me you’re not watching this show? Maybe my mom was right, I’m just not that funny.
It was always going to be Devin. MTV loves him, and fans loves him as long he is not physically competing. Devin wasn’t meant to compete in the same arena as CT and Darrell, he is supposed to drink beers, kill confessionals, and do yoga with hot girls. Everyone returning from Vendettas has talked about how much they love Devin. Devin is about to be 30, has hippy parents, works at a brewery, and has a particular taste for women with big breasts. It’d be fun to fill the cast with big breasted and small breasted women, and see how long it takes for Devin to bring it down to all big breasted women. Wes will host the show.
She is a beautiful woman who is bisexual. The show will have both male and female contestants. It would be fun to force the contestants to train and eat like Emily. Then at night, we get to see her pick and choose from the crop of who would be the best match for her. Emily probably can’t carry a show, that would be the biggest issue.
Which was the better comeback, Will and Grace or Shane Landrum on the Challenge? Since Real World ended, fans have had trouble with there being no possible way for non-hetero competitors to end up on The Challenge. MTV doing a gay version of the Bachelor with Shane Landrum (a fun sloppy drunk) would be iconic. They attempted this concept with a show called Finding Prince Charming. That show took itself too seriously. Considering how self-destructing he is, Shane would be the perfect person to do this show with.
Another girl who’s open to hookup whenever. She would take this show “seriously” in the sense that she would totally cry over a guy she met three days prior. Ashley was the female star of Invasion, and has been a sensation on every show she has been on (in good and bad ways).You can make Shane and Amanda her friends/hosts of the show too.
Nothing will be greater than when Ashley quits the show half-way in, only to return the following year for season 2.