Ranking All 52 Movies I Watched In 2023
In 2022, I made it my goal to watch 52 movies that came out during the year (one a week). After doing so, I wrote a blog where I ranked all 52:
In 2023, we are doing it again!
I gave each film a numerical score inspired partly by MovieRankings.net and Rotten Tomatoes. My scores were based on pure emotion and viewing experience. The scores I give are how I view the movie within the scope of every movie I’ve seen; it’s not just relative to this year.
Everyone has their own tastes, but I’m willing to plant my flag with certain takes. As a whole, 2023 was a good year for movies, or at least the 52 I saw. Specifically, the last few months of 2023 ended strong and took a majority of my Top 5.
Along with my simple thoughts on each movie, I will add a trailer or plot description for the films you possibly haven’t seen or are maybe unaware of what the main plots are. If it’s a Marvel Movie or a Blockbuster, I will assume you have the general gist. Let’s jump into the list:
52 You People — 1.7 out of 10
Trailer:
Eddie Murphy is one of the funniest humans ever to live, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is the greatest comedic TV actress of all time, and Jonah Hill has starred in multiple of the best comedies over the last two decades. Together, these three put up one of the most aggressively unfunny and offputting movies I’ve ever watched. You People felt like a social commentary that would’ve been funny and possibly biting had it come out in 2013.
Rather, in 2023, the movie feels dated, out of touch, and has no real pulse of what our world is today. The movie also doesn’t do enough as a romcom to make me care about Jonah Hill and Lauren London as a couple. It misses from all angles.
51 Five Nights At Freddy’s — 3.2 out of 10
I’m not a big fan of jump scares in Horror movies. That said, as someone who played the original Five Nights At Freddy games, no movie has ever had a better excuse for being loaded with jumpscares than this one. This film had loads of potential to be an anxiety-inducing ride just like the games, and instead, it wasn’t anything like that. Can you imagine making a Call of Duty game with no guns involved?
That’s what this movie felt like to me.
50 Robots — 3.3 out of 10
Trailer:
The film has a decent concept. Unfortunately, it advances way too quickly with some of its “plot twists.” I’m not even saying the movie itself is too short because I think the 93-minute run-time is one of the few things this movie has going for it. There just wasn’t enough character building to make either of the leads in this RomCom likable to where I want to see them succeed/make it in the end.
49 Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain — 3.3 out of 10
IMBD Plot Description: It follows three friends who live together. When they realize that they don’t like their life trajectory, they set off to find a gold treasure that is rumored to be buried in the nearby mountain.
While I’m a big fan of Please Don’t Destroy, their foray into film with The Treasure of Foggy Mountain missed the mark. There are many isolated funny lines and bits throughout the film, just not enough for a feature-length film. In all honesty, some of the charm/quirkiness in their humor ran dry in this longer medium. What the movie misses is a gravitational center. When The Lonely Island did Hot Rod and Popstar, Andy Samberg was the center of those movies that everyone else could riff off. This film feels like a game of pinball where three balls are going at once, which is super fun in an isolated spurt but can get annoying for an extended period.
The Please Don’t Destroy guys are still very young, and I think they have a good movie in them down the line.
48 Run Rabbit Run — 4.2 out of 10
IMBD Plot Description: Sarah Snook plays a fertility doctor who believes firmly in life and death, but after noticing the strange behavior of her young daughter, she must challenge her own values and confront a ghost from her past.
Coming off Succession, I was excited to watch Sarah Snook in this film. As a big fan of Shiv Roy, I watched the first thirty minutes of Run Rabbit Run with rose-colored glasses, expecting that whatever happened, I would love the movie.
Boy, this movie stunk. It’s full of plotholes and is a chaotic mess, and nothing about this movie is cohesive. We’re also living in a golden era of Horror/Thriller films, which hurts this one as it lacks mightily in comparison.
47 You Are So Not Invited To My Bar Mitzvah — 4.3 out of 10
Trailer:
Adam Sandler produced this movie for his daughter to star in. It’s actually kind of a cute movie. I’m very much not the demographic for this film. If I were a kid or a parent watching this movie, I might’ve liked it.
46 Saw X — 4.7 out of 10
This is the first Saw movie I’ve ever watched in theaters. I can’t believe they’ve made 10 of these. In Saw X, you get the typical gruesome kills, Jigsaw on the verge of death from cancer while also never dying, and it’s weirdly a bit of a family film. Saw X was much better than Spiral and is probably the best Saw film in a decade, which isn’t saying much. There isn’t much juice left in this franchise for me.
45 Old Dads — 4.9 out of 10
Trailer:
This movie seemed like a nice Netflix paycheck for Bill Burr.
44 Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantamania — 5.5 out of 10
The Marvel fall-off in the past couple of years has been rough. I was excited for Quantamania as the trailer gave off a different vibe from the previous two Ant-Man installments. Also, I’m a sucker for Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellowbrick Roads.”
As funny as Paul Rudd is as Ant-Man, I hoped for a more serious and gripping emotional performance. Nope, it was cheesier than ever and much less funny than the first two. Then you also have the Jonathan Majors mess. My biggest gripe with the modern MCU is the lack of stakes in these films. In a post-Thanos world, I need them to shake the table and do things I never expected.
I’m not saying you have to kill off a bunch of people. Actually, fuck it, I am saying it. Kill some big and medium names. Do it so that these younger characters you’re trying to introduce and build up have more room to grow. Do it so that when we watch these fight scenes, they don’t feel contrived and predictable. You want people walking out of the theater wanting more.
43 Renfeld — 5.7 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: Renfield, Dracula’s henchman and inmate at the lunatic asylum for decades, longs for a life away from the Count, his various demands, and all of the bloodshed that comes with them.
I love Nicolas Cage, I enjoy the work of Nicholas Hoult, and Renfeld was probably a nice little payday for both of them. Renfeld is a fun little movie that exists. I didn’t hate Renfield! It didn’t make me laugh too much, which, for a comedy, isn’t optimal.
42 The Flash — 6.0 out of 10
Hand up, I was optimistic going into 2023 that The Flash was going to be the greatest superhero movie ever. I was of this belief because I think Ezra Miller should be locked up in Azkaban. The fact that this movie still came out despite all the drama behind it convinced me that it would be amazing.
Nope. It was average. The CGI was awful. We dealt with two Ezra Millers, which was somehow less annoying than one Ezra Miller. Almost felt like the directors used the second Ezra Miller as a way to do a commentary on how shitty Ezra Miller is.
It was neat watching Michael Keaton play Batman again, at least!
41 Asteroid City — 6.5 out of 10
IMBD Plot Description: Following a writer on his world famous fictional play about a grieving father who travels with his tech-obsessed family to small rural Asteroid City to compete in a junior stargazing event, only to have his world view disrupted forever.
Wes Anderson is one of my Top 5 All-Time favorite directors. From set design to music to dialogue, there’s an attention to detail in all Wes Anderson movies that I love and admire. Most of the movies at the top of my list in 2023 have a similar attention to the craft that made me fall in love with Wes Anderson.
Sadly, I have not enjoyed Anderson’s last two films as they’re beginning to feel like SNL parodies of what a Wes Anderson movie is supposed to be. While I did enjoy Asteroid City far more than the French Dispatch, there’s a lack of soul and substance to the film missing from this movie that I could easily cling to with Anderson’s past films.
Maybe I’d feel different if Asteroid City was my first Wes Anderson, and I had nothing else to compare to. There are undeniably some funny, whimsical moments throughout Asteroid City, just not enough to carry it for me.
40 Wonka — 6.8 out of 10
Cute is the word I use to describe Wonka. If you have kids, Wonka is the perfect movie to take them to, as it’s a fun little musical.
As an adult, the movie doesn’t do much for me. I didn’t dislike the film; there was no reason to love it.
What’s tricky with any Charlie in the Chocolate/Willy Wonka is that we must immediately compare it to the Gene Wilder version. In the Gene Wilder version, the Willy Wonka we see is incredibly quick-witted, clever, and also an asshole. Timothee Chalamet’s Wonka is a doofus who sings and is good at making chocolate. They aren’t the same character at all; once you accept that, you can enjoy this 2023 version a bit more.
39 Napoleon — 6.9 out of 10
I have the utmost respect for Ridley Scott as a director because he takes big swings with every project. Napoleon is filled with so many great shots and scenes. Unfortunately, the movie itself is fucking chaos. Like House of Gucci, it’s too all over the place, and it’s a shame because there are so many powerful little moments in this film. Joaquin Phoenix was a good Napoleon Bonaparte, and Vanessa Kirby’s performance as Josephine was award-nomination-worthy if the rest of this movie was better.
In all honesty, I think the only thing Ridley Scott needs is a better script supervisor to keep him on track because when it comes to directing and stylistic choices, the guy is one of a kind.
38 Gran Turismo — 7.1 out of 10
Every time I saw the trailer for Gran Turismo, I thought it looked so dumb. Then I watched it, and it was dumb but also fun, easy, and didn’t feel like a waste of time. I’d rewatch it was playing on cable or an airplane.
37 Maestro — 7.1 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: This love story chronicles the lifelong relationship of conductor-composer Leonard Bernstein and actress Felicia Montealegre Cohn Bernstein.
Maestro is a total mess. Bradley Cooper’s performance is simultaneously the best and worst part of Maestro. When he is conducting, and there’s music going on, he has that part of Leonard Bernstein down to a science, and those scenes are Oscar-worthy. The problem is when he’s acting and playing the character of Leonard Bernstein…It feels like a caricature. The writing of this movie is subpar as well.
I genuinely hope Bradley Cooper doesn’t get a Best Actor Oscar nomination, as the movie he’s very much the lead of isn’t good enough to warrant accolades.
36 Indiana Jones & The Dial of Destiny — 7.2 out of 10
Dial of Destiny is significantly better than Kingdom of a Crystal Skull. Sadly, it does not compare at all to the original trilogy.
I have no ill will towards this movie. There are some decent action scenes, and the nostalgia brings me a bit of joy.
35 Missing — 7.4 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: After her mother goes missing, a young woman tries to find her from home, using tools available to her online.
This movie is a standalone sequel to the 2018 John Cho movie Searching. Missing is a solid mystery thriller carried by its lead, Storm Reid. Missing is a movie that becomes progressively more entertaining the longer you watch and invest your time, as a good thriller should.
It’s not an amazing movie, but it’s easy to watch, and I wouldn’t mind rewatching it.
34 Plane — 7.3 out of 10
Trailer:
Wikipedia Plot Description: The plot centers on a pilot (Butler) allying with a prisoner to save his passengers from a hostile territory in which they make an emergency landing.
Plane is a ridiculous movie. It’s 107 minutes of Gerard Butler doing crazy shit and not putting any effort into building anyone else’s character or trying to tell a story other than him saving the day being a badass. And I enjoyed it!
33 Transformers Rise of the Beasts — 7.4 out of 10
I thought Transformers Rise of the Beasts was the most coherent Transformers movie I’ve ever watched, and it had cool action scenes. Did it blow me away? No. Did I enjoy it? Yeah.
Additionally, I find Anthony Ramos to be an easy-to-like protagonist. His comedic dynamic with the voice work from Pete Davidson as Mirage was fun and different compared to the Bumblebee relationship with past protagonists, where Bumblebee is limited in what he can say.
32 Totally Killer — 7.5 out of 10
Trailer:
IMDB Plot Descripton: When the infamous “Sweet Sixteen Killer” returns 35 years after his first murder spree to claim another victim, 17-year-old Jamie accidentally travels back in time to 1987, determined to stop the killer before he can start.
Totally Killer is a slasher Back to the Future. It’s a fun movie and concept. I wish the acting and dialogue were better because this could have been an 8.5–9 out of 10 for me. Many people loved this movie, and I don’t blame them, as it has a great soundtrack and is easy to watch.
31 Knock at the Cabin — 7.5 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: While vacationing, a girl and her parents are taken hostage by armed strangers who demand that the family make a choice to avert the apocalypse.
M. Night Shyamalan movies are now either terrible or you go, “Huh, that was kind of interesting.”
Knock at the Cabin…is good? Dave Bautista brings so much to the table in this movie that it doesn’t work without him. His physicality is menacing, and his performance/dramatic delivery is ominous, even when saying and doing kind things. He carries the film.
Knock at the Cabin reminds me of a more philosophical version of the 2008 film The Strangers.
30 Blue Beetle — 7.6 out of 10
Straight up, I’m Mexican… so I loved Blue Beetle. Blue Beetle will not blow your socks off; personally, though, I had fun, and I’m always going to support Xolo Mariduena. Blue Beetle is a cute family film with some good superhero action scenes. There’s no reason to hate this movie.
29 Flamin’ Hot — 7.6 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: This is the inspiring true story of Richard Montañez who, as a Frito Lay janitor, disrupted the food industry by channeling his Mexican heritage to turn Flamin’ Hot Cheetos from a snack into an iconic global pop culture phenomenon.
Copy-paste my feelings on Blue Beetle onto Flamin’ Hot in terms of how I’m going to support Mexicans, especially when the movie is set in an area close to where I grew up and even went to college.
Even then, Flamin’ Hot is a genuine feel-good movie you can pop on for a family movie night, and everyone will walk away with a smile.
28 Beau is Afraid — 7.6 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: Following the sudden death of his mother, a mild-mannered but anxiety-ridden man confronts his darkest fears as he embarks on an epic, Kafkaesque odyssey back home.
This is going to be a controversial one. I’m going to start by saying that as time goes on, I find myself liking and wanting to rewatch Beau is Afraid more and more. Coming out of the theater, I fucking hated it. Which shocked me as I’m a big fan of director Ari Aster.
I thought Beau is Afraid was a long bumpy traumatic ride of a fucking film. The reason I didn’t enjoy this movie is that there was no fundamental basis of reality to extrapolate from with this film. To me, it starts absurd and abstract and it goes off a deep from there. Comparatively, as crazy as Midsommar and Hereditary, they have a basis of reality that transitions into insane. For me, if everything is unreal, then it’s hard to grasp onto what are the meanings of certain moments/scenes because then it all feels like bullshit.
It’s a personal issue I have with the movie and certain films in general.
Again, this movie is growing on me as Beau is Afraid. It has some of the most beautifully shot scenes of 2023, some of the scariest moments, and a few excellent laughs and gags.
27 Dumb Money — 7.7 out of 10
IMDB plot description:
David vs. Goliath tale about everyday people who flipped the script on Wall Street and got rich by turning GameStop (the video game store) into the world’s hottest company.
One of my favorite movies of the 2010’s is Adam McKay’s The Big Short. Dumb Money is a shot in a similar fashion and hits many of the same beats as that film did. Just in a much more watered down way.
It’s a good movie, I enjoyed it. Specifically, I really loved seeing Paul Dano get to play a good guy character after having to play so many little weirdos.
26 No Hard Feelings — 7.7 out of 10
I grew up spoiled with comedies like Superbad, 40-Year-Old Virgin, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and so many other films I could list off. Moviegoers have been desperately needing a good old-fashioned R-rated comedy. Credit to Jennifer Lawrence because she put her all into this performance, including her entire body, for us all to see.
Jennifer Lawrence’s performance in this film was stellar; in my opinion, it was her best performance since Silver Linings Playbook. No Hard Feelings made me laugh a bunch in theaters, and if you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it.
Unfortunately, I relate it below an 8 because the movie isn’t the most cohesive and falls apart hard in the second half.
25 Anyone But You — 7.7 out of 10
Copy-paste my feelings on R-rated comedies/romcoms about No Hard Feelings into Anyone But You.
While Anyone But You isn’t as funny as No Hard Feelings, it works much more functionally as a film and romcom. Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney have a fun chemistry in this film, and they’re both very attractive, which made me really root for them to get together.
24 Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3–7.8 out of 10
I enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy 3. The movie had me emotional on multiple occasions, and James Gunn knows how to hit our funny bones with these characters.
Unfortunately, I liked this movie much less than the previous two Guardians iterations.
23 Cocaine Bear — 7.9 out of 10
IMBD Plot Description: An oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converge on a Georgia forest where a huge black bear goes on a murderous rampage after unintentionally ingesting cocaine.
Cocaine Bear is an electric 95 minutes that keeps you entertained from start to finish. There is no lull in Cocaine Bear.
Alden Ehrenreich and O’Shea Jackson Jr. have fantastic comedic chemistry in this film, and I’d love to see them be an on-screen pair again.
I appreciate Cocaine Bear because it’s fun and doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not. Also, Keri Russell rocks the fuck out of Pink Jumpsuit in this movie.
22 Super Mario Bros Movie — 8.1 out of 10
As a lifelong Nintendo kid, the Super Mario Bros Movie was purely fun. Jack Black steals the show as Bowser and Peaches is a banger of a song.
21 Evil Dead Rise — 8.1 out of 10
We had a 2013 Evil Dead reboot that was very good and underrated. Thus, I was skeptical about Evil Dead Rise as redoing the same general premise a third time seems like a recipe for an underwhelming, watered-down product.
Nope. Evil Dead Rise was good. It hit the same notes as the original movies yet crossed into territories I didn’t expect from a traditional horror movie. It’s what sets Evil Dead Rise apart. This film has some killer visuals and subverts expectations to create a good, entertaining 97-minute movie. You’ll never be bored watching this movie.
20 Megan — 8.2 out of 10
I might be overrating this movie based on my theater experience and low expectations. Any time a horror movie gets dropped in January, the bar is the floor. I watched Megan opening weekend in a packed theater on a Friday night, and let me say, the whole theater was dying laughing watching this movie. There’s a scene in Megan that almost made me piss my pants laughing.
Kudos to the director of this film for understanding what this movie was and pivoting heavily into the humor and campiness.
19 Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves — 8.2 out of 10
When I heard a Dungeons & Dragons movie was coming out, I was pessimistic as there were so many ways it could go wrong. In reality, we got a two-hour comedic action-adventure film that’s enjoyable for all audiences and respects the Dungeons & Dragons game. It was a good, fun two hours that I would 100% rewatch again.
After Game Night and now Dungeons & Dragons, I’ve got a lot of trust put into the directing duo of John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldestein.
18 Killers of the Flower Moon — 8.3 out of 10
I think every Robert De Niro scene in Killers of the Flower Moon is elite cinema. Everything else in it was good, not amazing. That’s a lie actually, Lily Gladstone is great in this movie as well.
Some three-hour movies fly by. Killers of the Flower Moon is not one of those. As a fan of Scorsese who went into this movie with high expectations, Killers of the Flower Moon didn’t move the needle for me.
17 Air — 8.4 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: Follows the history of sports marketing executive Sonny Vaccaro, and how he led Nike in its pursuit of the greatest athlete in the history of basketball, Michael Jordan.
I enjoyed Air. Moneyball is one of my Top 10 all-time favorite movies, and Air feels eerily similar in tone and style. The difference is Air feels much more muted. As an NBA nerd, Air is a movie for me, and I even could see myself falling asleep watching it. I didn’t fall asleep! I loved the movie when I watched it; still, I must acknowledge that it’s not the most gripping movie for everyone.
There are some outstanding performances in Air. Viola Davis crushes it in her role as Delores Jordan. Chris Tucker makes his first film appearance since 2016. And it’s always cute to watch best friends Ben Affleck & Matt Damon have fun together.
16 Scream 6–8.4 out of 10
Last year, I gave Scream 5 and 8.1 out of 10, and this year, I’m giving Scream 6 an even higher score! What’s the difference?
Scream 6 is much of the same as Scream 5 and the franchise as a whole, where it’s a fun meta-examination of both slasher films and the Scream franchise itself. The killers in this film are a little more predictable than in Scream 5, though it gets counterbalanced with a better acting performance from most of the ensemble cast, and the addition/return of Hayden Panatierre into the fold helped the film. Also, please don’t shoot me. I didn’t mind Neve not being in this movie, as it allowed the other characters to shine/grow.
The most significant difference is Melissa Barrera. She was far and away the weakest part of Scream 5. In Scream 5, Melissa Barrera didn’t seem comfortable; her line delivery was static, and the directors didn’t know what direction to go with her. In Scream 6, Melissa Barrera carries the film with what I would say is the best performance by a Scream protagonist character since Neve Campbell in Scream 1. The directors figured out how to use Melissa Barrera because she looked and felt like Lara Croft Tomb Raider by the end of Scream 6.
Unfortunately, because a bunch of morons runs Spyglass Media Company, we won’t be able to see her again in the role and likely won’t ever get another great Scream movie.
15 Creed III–8.5 out of 10
First, let’s acknowledge that all the Jonathan Majors stuff from this year put a cloud over Creed 3.
My rating and ranking are primarily based on when I watched this film in the theater, and the movie had me feeling inspired and on my toes. This was Michael B. Jordan’s directorial debut, and it’s the first Rocky movie without the Rocky Balboa character. I thought he hit out of the park.
Creed 2 is a good movie that’s a lesser version of Creed 1. Entering this third film, the worry was that if they repeated the same formula, it would again become a lesser version. Instead, Michael B. Jordan crafted his own original movie with a unique style that maintained respect towards the O.G. Rocky franchise. Creed 3 takes a deeper, more emotional look at the Adonis Creed character, where the shackles of Rocky/Apollo do not hold him down. Creed’s his own guy with his own issues; at the same time, we watch him go through some of the same problems that Apollo/Rocky did for the Champions nearing the end of their career.
The fight scenes in Creed 3 were heavily inspired by Anime. For classic boxing fans, they might not have enjoyed it. It was a respectable leap in a different direction. As was the whole movie.
14 Anatomy of a Fall — 8.5 out of 10
IMDB plot for Anatomy of a Fall:
A woman is suspected of her husband’s murder, and their blind son faces a moral dilemma as the main witness.
The farther I’m removed from Anatomy of a Fall, the more I appreciate it and want to rewatch it. This is a testament to it because I watched it in the worst way possible. Rather than a theater, I watched this in my bedroom over three days, constantly interrupted after renting it on Amazon.
Anatomy of a Fall is a true-to-form metaphor in that everything in life has a different angle. In a typical legal drama, you watch, hoping the main character/protagonist is innocent. However, Anatomy of a Fall turns that idea on its head as the main protagonist, played by Sandra Huller, is a complicated character where you’re not sure if you want to be behind them. I’m going to refrain from saying more because you have to watch and create your own interpretation.
Still, this movie is a fascinating look at life through multiple senses and lenses. The blind son, played by Milo Machado Graner, is the epitome of that idea, and his performance in this movie is transcendent. He carries the last 40 minutes in a way that pushes the film from being good to great and thought-provoking.
13 Theater Camp — 8.5 out of 10
Trailer:
The basic gist of Theater Camp, is Jimmy Tatro plays a “business influencer” who takes over his mom’s financially struggling theater camp after having a seizure/going into a coma. He’s surrounded by staff members played by Ben Platt, Molly Gordon, Noah Galvin, Ayo Edebiri, others, and a bunch of talented young children.
Plain and simple, Theater Camp is funny, enjoyable 90-minute experience. It’s shot in a Mockumentary style
12 May December — 8.8 out of 10
Wikipedia Plot Description:
May December is a 2023 American drama film directed by Todd Haynes from a screenplay by Samy Burch, based on a story by Burch and Alex Mechanik. Loosely inspired by the Mary Kay Letourneau scandal, it stars Natalie Portman as an actress who travels to Savannah, Georgia, to meet and study the life of the controversial woman (Julianne Moore) she is set to play in a film — the woman being infamous for her 23-year-long relationship with her husband (Charles Melton), which began when he was 13 years old.
May December is a movie carried by its performances, specifically from Julianne Moore and Charles Melton. Natalie Portman is the straw that stirs the drink and allows the other two to shine. May December captures awkward feelings of secondhand embarrassment in a way that’s deeply disturbing while also being comedic at the same time. It’s a weird feeling to have while watching a movie. Julianne Moore has some lines in this movie that make me open my eyes, laugh with panic, and breathe heavily because I can’t believe what’s been said, or even her delivery, at times, knocks me off my head. Charles Melton’s performance in this movie is a real mindfuck because he’s an intricately damaged character. There’s something about his physicality and the way he carries himself that I don’t see in many performances.
I recommend May December. It’s better than good, it’s great! Frosted Flakes!
11 Saltburn — 8.9 out of 10
Trailer:
If you haven’t watched Saltburn, I won’t go into great detail about the film as it would spoil some of the twists.
I’ve seen a lot of people complain that Saltburn lacks substance. To be frank, I agree that Saltburn is more sizzle than steak. That’s not always a bad thing. The meat you get at Benihana is decent, but you go there for the flair and Onion Volcano. If you like pageantry and shock factor, you’ll love Saltburn.
Barry Keoghan plays a weird little dude better than anyone in Hollywood. Jacob Elordi understands how to be tall and hot, which we must appreciate. You can’t teach size like that. Rosamund Pike steals every scene where I have to keep the subtitles on to ensure I don’t miss any of her lines.
Overall, Saltburn is a highly entertaining film and a great reminder that MGMT rocks.
10 Past Lives — 9.0 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: Nora and Hae Sung, two deeply connected childhood friends, are wrested apart after Nora’s family emigrates from South Korea. Twenty years later, they are reunited for one fateful week as they confront notions of love and destiny.
Past Lives is one of those movies where the longer it sits with me, the more I respect it. The film is thoughtful and reflective, and it genuinely makes me anxious when I think about it because it makes me self-examine relationships in my life.
Someone led me astray before I watched Past Lives by saying it’s a romcom. Midway through, I had to google the movie because nothing made me laugh; rather, I went through emotions of longing and sadness! Semi-joking aside, Past Lives is a remarkable film that I actually don’t recommend to anyone going through any romantic troubles because it will send you down a rabbit hole of texting your exes at 3 AM.
Don’t watch Past Lives if you aren’t in a secure place emotionally; it will rock you. Greta Lee has a transcendent performance in this movie worthy of the Best Actress nomination. Celine Song deserves nominations for Best Director and Best Screenplay as the film’s script is jarring and unique, and the way she paced out scenes was deliberate and caring.
9 Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse — 9.2 out of 10
Both Spiderverse movies have been stunning. Across the Spiderverse is an exhilarating visual experience, a solid action film, and an emotional ride building up to something more.
Since 2000, we’ve had a plethora of Spider-Man films, which would make you think having more of them is oversaturation. These Spiderverse movies take advantage of the fact there are now two decades worth of 500+ million dollar grossing Spider-Man movies. Everyone knows the basics of Spider-Man now, and so with that, Spiderverse takes the core knowledge and spins it in so many different directions.
What I appreciated about Across the Spiderverse is that not only did we get to see more growth in Miles Morales, but we also saw Gwen Stacy (Spider-Gwen) come into her own as a protagonist where her story and character feel as crucial as Miles. She’s not just Miles’s love interest/second protagonist — people will buy tickets to the 3rd film for her alone.
A big reason I enjoy the Spiderverse films is the way they remind me of the 1990s anime. Where each character has their specific art design and personality. They dropped Hobie Brown on us this year, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a cool character in a movie. God, I’m very excited for what they bring us with the third film.
8 Oppenheimer — 9.4 out of 10
The 3-hour runtime of Oppenheimer somehow flies by while also being a dense watch. Oppneheimer moves nonstop and there’s so much to take in at once. I almost wish the movie was longer/slowed down the pace in certain moments so I could have time to process and appreciate some of the performances happening in front of me in real-time. When I watched Oppenheimer, I felt like Spider-Man when he tried to stop the train in Spider-Man 2. I mean that in the best way possible. Also, look at how I can reference a Spider-Man movie and you know what I’m talking about.
Christopher Nolan took an intense look at the character of J. Robert Oppenheimer, the Manhattan Project, and its aftermath in a way that was so methodical yet also abrasive and explosive. The move builds and builds until we get multiple explosions, and I’m not talking only about the literal bomb. If anything, multiple scenes in Oppenheimer feel more jarring than the explosion itself.
The film’s cast felt similar to an Avengers movie, where people kept popping up and dominating their scenes. Cillian Murphy and Robert Downey Jr. are very clearly favorites for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor this year, which makes complete sense as they put up phenomenal performances in one of the year’s best movies. I will say that even though they had smaller roles, I truly appreciated Benny Safdie, David Krumholtz, and Alden Ehrenreich as much, if not more, than Downey Jr. in this film.
Oppenheimer is a masterpiece of filmmaking and is possibly Christopher Nolan’s best. Did I fall in love with Oppenheimer? Weirdly, no. I thoroughly enjoyed Oppenheimer and have so much respect for it as a piece of cinema. I’d be lying if I said I loved it, though. If this movie wins Best Picture, I will still be happy because it is more than deserving of the award.
7 Bottoms — 9.4 out of 10
Trailer:
IMDB Plot Description: Two unpopular queer high-school students start a fight club to have sex before graduation.
Bottoms is such a dumb, silly ass movie.
And yet, I was laughing hard for the entire 90 minutes. Rachel Sennott continues to be one of the funniest people in Hollywood, and 2023 was the year of Ayo Edebiri. Don’t take this movie too seriously because the less you do, the more you’ll love it.
6 Joy Ride — 9.4 out of 10
Trailer:
IMDB Plot Description: Follows four Asian American friends as they bond and discover the truth of what it means to know and love who you are, while they travel through China in search of one of their birth mothers.
If you haven’t watched Joy Ride yet, change that fast. The basic way I would describe this film is that it’s The Hangover, except with four Asian female leads, set primarily in Asia. Three of the four leads you may know: Ashley Park (Emily in Paris), Sherry Cola (Good Trouble), and Stephanie Hsu (Everything Everywhere All At Once). Joy Ride deserves its hard R rating and comparisons to The Hangover because the film gets super raunchy and does some wacky fun stuff.
While Joy Ride isn’t funnier than The Hangover — it goes bar for bar with it for the most part, as it has great dialogue, some hilarious visual gags, and good acting performances. However, what sets Joy Ride apart is that the friendship storylines in the film are much stronger than The Hangover. On top of it being a pure laugh fest, there’s some actual emotion.
5 The Iron Claw — 9.5 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: The true story of the inseparable Von Erich brothers, who made history in the intensely competitive world of professional wrestling in the early 1980s.
Not only do I think Iron Claw is one of the Top 5 movies of 2023, I believe it’s the greatest wrestling movie ever made. Iron Claw is a movie that will get your blood pumping with adrenaline from awesome wrestling sequences with a banging soundtrack. It will also have you smiling ear to ear as you see a family loving each other and partying together. Then at a moment’s notice, it will devastate you emotionally and have you feeling you’re banging you’re head into concrete. Iron Claw tears at your emotions so painfully. It’s a gut-wrenching movie with some elite acting performances.
Zac Efron puts on the best performance of his career in this film as he transforms his body and puts his all into this film emotionally. The entire ensemble cast knocks this film out of the park; where I’ve seen so many people mention a different name as the standout performer from this movie. To which, I agree with all of them. Everyone in this movie is on point. Except for the guy they cast as Ric Flair — if The Iron Claw has one flaw, it is that.
The Iron Claw was magnificent, from the script to the music to the cinematography. I’m going to rewatch it many times and get my heart ripped out again and again.
4 The Holdovers — 9.5 out of 10
IMDB Plot Description: A cranky history teacher at a remote prep school is forced to remain on campus over the holidays with a troubled student who has no place to go.
I was late to watch The Holdovers; there was a lot of hype behind it, and let me tell you, it lived up to expectations. The Holdovers is a unique Christmas movie in that it captures some of the melancholy and disappointing feelings about the holidays that sadly resonates with many people. All the while, it also displays the importance of remaining optimistic, keeping hope, caring for one another, letting emotions out, and that it’s never too late to make a big move/change.
From Big Fat Liar to Sideways to Win-Win, Paul Giamatti has been one of the best actors of the last two decades, and this film feels like his peak performance. As everyone online notes, Dominic Sessa’s debut is one of the real revelations of 2023 as he goes toe-to-toe with a maestro like Giamatti.
If you’ve ever read the book Catcher in the Rye, Giamatti and Sessa both feel like Holden Caulfield, except one is an older version and one is a younger version. The experiment of putting two damaged, brilliant assholes together leads to a weirdly warm and emotional movie.
Additional note: I was unfamiliar with Da’Vine Joy Randolph before this film, and now I have so much respect for her talent — she put out an astonishingly emotional performance.
3 Godzilla Minus One — 9.6 out of 10
Trailer:
While I’m not generally the biggest monster movie fan, Godzilla Minus One completely blew me away. Not only was it the best Godzilla movie to come out in my lifetime, this was one of the best action movies I’ve ever seen.
Aside from Godzilla, the film is a profoundly moving story of grief, PTSD, Romance, and is a fascinating cultural film with a look at post-WWII Japan. Then you get into the Godzilla part, and this film checks all the boxes in what I want out of a Godzilla movie. The film does not turn Godzilla into some sophisticated creature — he is simply a terrifying, world-destroying monster who seems unbeatable. You want to see Godzilla fuck some shit up and eventually get taken down. The action scenes in this movie are captivating and keep you on the edge of your seat.
Godzilla Minus was a fantastic theater experience, and if there’s any opportunity for you to watch it in theaters still, I urge you to do so.
2 Barbie — 9.7 out of 10
One of the main criticisms I’ve seen of people who disliked Barbie is that they didn’t vibe with the message and thought it was too basic/superficial. I’m here to tell you I don’t give a damn about the message.
I fucking loved Barbie because it got all the little details right and was a spectacular viewing experience. Attempting to create a Barbie movie was such a tall task, and Gerwig found a way to make this a film for casual consumers, children, and adults/critics was very impressive. There are so many lines and deliveries in this film that have stayed with me since I first watched it. Margot Robbie does an excellent job juggling acting throughout this film, where she has to play a more serious/straight-woman role against Ken, the other Kens, and the other Barbies. Meanwhile, when Robbie is on-screen with America Ferrara and Arianna Greenblatt, she gets played up for comedy. Margot Robbie brings so much to the role, comically, emotionally, and physically, while supporting all the other characters in a way that brings out the best in them. There are moments in this film where Margot Robbie is acting very selflessly to let others shine to create a better movie.
I mention the word physically when describing Margot Robbie, and that’s not me saying she’s hot; I mean, that got unsaid. What I mean by that is that the whole cast of this movie had to put in so much effort physically in terms of all of the choreography and blocking throughout this film. From the dance scenes to the motions that certain characters make because they’re supposed to be plastic dolls, there’s so much precision to this film, which is why I have so much respect for it. Then you add in the set designs, color and wardrobe choices, and, of course, an absolutely banging soundtrack… and oh boy, we have a hell of a movie.
Ryan Gosling’s performance as Ken was stellar. He committed 110% of himself to the silliness of the role. “To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn’t about horses, I lost interest.” was one of my favorite lines of the year, and I hope Gosling gets a Supporting Actor nomination for his work.
A little note I’ll add in. I didn’t see Michael Cera’s name come up at all when it came to Supporting Actor nomination talks. In terms of lines/screen time, he probably wasn’t in the film enough to warrant award recognition, yet I couldn’t help laughing or smiling every time he was on screen.
1 Poor Things — 9.9 out of 10
Trailer:
IMDB Plot Description: The incredible tale about the fantastical evolution of Bella Baxter; a young woman brought back to life by the brilliant and unorthodox scientist, Dr. Godwin Baxter.
Poor Things is a crazy fucking movie. Hilariously, Poor Things somehow checks all the same boxes as to why I loved Barbie in that it is so specific and detailed, gets very physical, and is a visual experience. Except it does it in a more abstract hard-R version, with better writing and dialogue, and the film comes loaded with so many messages and questions that Barbie was trying to tackle. To which, Poor Things has a direct advantage in that it’s not a mega blockbuster targeted toward a wider audience.
That said, the performances in this movie are phenomenal. Emma Stone brings an incredible level of physical acting to her performance, where in so many scenes, she has to move in specific ways that are unique to her character. On top of that, her body is exposed and completely out there in so many scenes that are sexual and then sometimes just very casual. Stone’s character for much of Poor Things is unlike any character I’ve ever seen her play, and she knocks it out of the park.
Willem Defoe has been a legend in the film industry for decades. Somehow, though, in the last eight years, he’s gone on a legendary streak of performances, and this might be his best. Defoe’s character in this movie is a fucking insane human who should get put directly in jail for his experiments and is in many ways a villain, yet also is this weirdly likable and damaged curmudgeon. As remarkable as Defoe’s performance is in Poor Things, Mark Ruffalo had my favorite Supporting Acting performance of the year because every line he delivers in this movie is hilarious. Ruffalo is on another level in this film, from his inflections to his facial expressions. I would put Ruffalo in Poor Things on par with Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder in terms of hilarious commitment to a character.
Poor Things is a movie that will make you feel comfortable in the best way possible; it’ll keep you on the edge of your seat and then knock you back with some of the funniest lines of dialogue/moments from the last decade.
BONUS: Favorite Acting Performances
BEST ACTOR
- Paul Giamatti — The Holdovers
- Cillian Murphy — Oppenheimer
- Zac Efron — The Iron Claw
- Barry Keoghan — Saltburn
- Paul Dano — Dumb Money
BEST ACTRESS
- Emma Stone — Poor Things
- Greta Lee — Past Lives
- Margot Robbie — Barbie
- Sandra Huller — Anatomy of a Fall
- Jennifer Lawrence — No Hard Feelings
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
- Mark Ruffalo — Poor Things
- Milo Machado Graner —Anatomy of a Fall
- Dominic Sessa— The Holdovers
- Robert Downey Jr. — Oppenheimer
- Ryan Gosling— Barbie
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
- Da’Vine Joy Randolph— The Holdovers
- Julianne Moore — May December
- Rosamund Pike — Saltburn
- Viola Davis —Air
- Vanessa Kirby— Napoleon
