How would the Challenge Dirty 30 have gone with a kill card?
Back when the Dirty 30 season began, I wrote about how Season 25 Free Agents would have been if the game had a Double Cross instead of a Kill Card.
In many ways the game was drastically altered. With Dirty 30 ending, I’ve decided to go through the season find what would have happened if this season was a Free Agents 2. The game will include all the game events like Redemptions and Purges. To lessen complications, we will assume that Nelson doesn’t get DQ’d for fighting because the events that precede it drastically change. Or Hunter breaking his hand. We will also assume that Camila doesn’t do all the same terrible thing, though we can assume she did something else of equal terribleness.
Here we go:
Ashley quits the first night, and CT is still flying in (Briana too as an alternate).
Purge 1
Darrell, Shane, Devin, LaToya, Amanda, and Simone are the first group eliminated like the original purge.
First Challenge
The same grouping of Bananas, Derrick, Nelson, CT, Cara Maria, Camila, Tori, and Nicole win the first challenge (sitting on a wall). They all vote the same as the original nominations by putting in Cory and Briana. Derrick H, Dario, LeRoy, Veronica, Britni, Jenna, and Jemmye are the losers going into the draw.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Veronica (facing Briana)
Male Kill Card: Dario (facing Cory)
These two pulled the original double crosses, and will pull the kill card in this situation.
Elimination Results:
Veronica and Cory win!
Veronica makes use of her lower body and stronger legs to pull out the poles faster than Briana. Cory killed this elimination the first time. Dario does better than Derrick, not good enough to beat Cory though. Dario and Briana go to the Redemption House. We assume that Simone and Shane get into a fight as it’s the same group of people, and they are DQ’d.
Second Challenge
Dario was the captain of one of the teams in the second challenge, while Kailah was the other. To make things easier, we will have the same two teams except with Derrick H replacing Dario. Ammo and Nicole get left out and automatically put in the draw.
Derrick H’s green team wins the mission. The winners are CT, Hunter, Cory, LeRoy, Derrick H, Cara Maria, Tori, Marie, Aneesa, and Veronica. The nominations of the week stay the same with Ammo and Kailah.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Jemmye (facing Kailah)
Male Kill Card: Derrick K (facing Ammo)
Since the same exact group is in the draw, we assume Jemmye and Derrick pull the kill card in place of the double cross.
Elimination Results:
Kailah and Derrick K win!
If Kailah was able to beat Jenna, beating Jemmye (who is not good at any of the physical/competitive activities in the game) is a lock. While Ammo was able to beat a stumbling Tony, Derrick is much more agile and relaxed.
REDEMPTION 1
They will be playing the same Redemption game with the rounds being based on how they were eliminated: Darrell vs Devin, Amanda vs LaToya, Dario vs Ammo, and Briana vs Jemmye.
Semi Finals
Devin vs Darrell = The same results, Darrell wins.
Dario vs Ammo = Dario using his weight to his advantage and pushing Ammo straight off.
Amanda vs LaToya = The same results, Amanda wins.
Briana vs Jemmye = Jemmye winning because of the size difference? I guess.
Finals
Darrell vs Dario = Dario winning. Just kidding, Darrell comes back into the game.
Amanda vs Jemmye = Amanda winning because of her intelligence and tenacity. If Amanda could hold her own with Jenna for over forty minutes, then she can take out Jemmye.
Darrell and Amanda re-enter the game.
Third Challenge
Darrell and Amanda get to choose the team for this mission, and will pick differently from Tony/Jenna. Amanda and Darrell agree to alternate pairing their friends with their optimal partners to win.
Darrell picks Cara Maria for himself, Amanda picks Nelson herself. The game gets split into two heats.
Heat 1: Darrell/Cara, Nelson/Amanda, Derrick/Camila, Hunter/Tori, CT/Jenna, Cory/Kailah
Heat 2: Bananas/Aneesa, Derrick H/Marie, LeRoy/Veronica, Jordan/Britni, Tony/Nicole
The bottom two of each heat goes into the draw, with the winners of each heat getting immunity and a vote in nominations.
Heat Winners: Darrell/Cara & Bananas/Aneesa
Bottom 2’s: Cory/Kailah, Nelson/Amanda, Tony/Nicole, Derrick H/Marie
Darrell gets his revenge on Cory by voting him in. They also vote in Britni due to her rookie status.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Marie (facing Britni)
Male Kill Card: Tony (facing Cory)
I used a random number generator to decide who pulls the kill card in these situations.
Elimination Results:
Cory and Marie win!
Marie gets to play this elimination again, except against a significantly smaller Britni she wipes the floor with her. Cory has more burst and speed than Tony, so he edges him out. On top of it, when it comes pulling out patches, we know Cory’s pull out game is stronger. Tony/Britni head to the Redemption House.
Fourth Challenge
This is the mission where players arrange the 30 seasons in order and get to pick their own teams. Winners get immunity and nomination votes, and the bottom two teams go the draw. They end up:
Young Bucs: Hunter/Nelson/Amanda/Marie
OGs: Darrell/Derrick K/Aneesa/Veronica
Heavyweights: CT/LeRoy/Cara/Camila
Beauties: Bananas/Jordan/Kailah/Jenna
Leftovers: Derrick H/Cory/Tori/Nicole
Winners: Darrell/Derrick/Aneesa/Veronica
Bottom 2: Derrick H/Cory/Tori/Nicole & Hunter/Nelson/Amanda/Marie
The OGs are able to fill in the early seasons way better than any other team and cheat off the others for the newer seasons. The younger teams (fewer seasons under their belts) end at the bottom. Darrell decides to continue his streak of voting in Cory (the rest follow). Aneesa/Veronica choose to vote in Kailah as they had done so earlier in the season.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Marie (facing Kailah)
Male Kill Card: Derrick H (facing Cory)
Bad luck for Marie with the number generator again. The elimination is the same one that Cory lost to Hunter in.
Elimination Results:
Cory and Kailah win.
We still get to see Cory smoke Derrick H in an elimination. Cory was decently close against Hunter (who has monster calves). It would be a close match, but a Cory win. Kailah beat Aneesa in this elimination. Marie has the size advantage, though her leg strength is a bit questionable.
Fifth Challenge
A trivia mission! Cory and Kailah get to pick the order because they won the previous elimination. However, TJ does not tell them twist of throwing strikes at your opponents prior to when they pick the order. Thus, the order ends up:
Males: 1 Darrell 2 Bananas 3 CT 4 Derrick K 5 Jordan 6 LeRoy 7 Hunter 8 Nelson 9 Cory
Females: 1 Aneesa 2 Veronica 3 Amanda 4 Nicole 5 Camila 6 Cara 7 Tori 8 Jenna 9 Kailah
One winner will get immunity and nomination power, and then the bottom four go straight to the draw.
Winners: Derrick K & Cara Maria
Bottom 4’s: Cory, Nelson, Hunter, Jordan, Kailah, Jenna, Aneesa, Camila
Because Darrell is his #1, Derrick votes in Cory as it is the easiest move. Cara is technically in alliance with Kailah/Jenna/Camila, so she votes in Amanda with the thought that she would be easier to face in a physical elimination for her friends.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Kailah (facing Amanda)
Male Kill Card: Jordan (facing Cory)
The random number generator saved the Young Bucs.
Elimination Results:
Jordan and Kailah win!
Cory has the raw size advantage. However, Nelson proved that core strength matters more. Jordan gets a 2–1 win over Cory, sending him to the Redemption House. Kailah outsizes and out-muscles Amanda for a 2–0 win.
REDEMPTION 2
The participants for this Redemption are Tony, Cory, and Derrick H for the guys. Britni, Marie, and Amanda represent the girls.
In this Redemption, Cory did admirably on his original attempt. It becomes a battle between him and Tony. Tony takes the win as he’s done decent at eating gross things in the past (bug eating on Bloodlines).
For the girls, it becomes a battle between Amanda and Britni as we know Marie won’t even try. In a battle of mental fortitude and pushing one’s self, Amanda takes the win to make it back into the game for a second time. She also gets a bit of luck from an emerald.
Sixth Challenge
As the winners of Redemption, Tony and Amanda are captains of the next challenge and get to pick two fellow captains. Tony picks Jenna, and Amanda picks Nelson.
The draft results in the following teams:
Tony, Camila, CT, Aneesa
Amanda, Hunter, Kailah, Darrell
Nelson, Cara Maria, Jordan, Nicole
Jenna, Bananas, Tori, LeRoy
Derrick and Veronica get straight left out. Which is crazy until you consider that none of the captains have close relationships or bonds with them. The guys group is especially stacked considering that Tony (who would be the last pick) is a captain. One group wins the mission, the rest are all losers going into the draw.
Winners: Nelson, Cara Maria, Jordan, Nicole
Each team gets one guy across only, but because Jordan gets across the fastest, his team wins. For the nominations, Nelson wants to vote in Bananas, and because Nicole/Cara do not like Bananas, they agree. For the girls, they all agree to vote in Veronica as she did not participate.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Tori (facing Veronica)
Male Kill Card: Tony (facing Bananas)
Right after coming back from Redemption, the random number generator hits Tony with the kill card. Tori also sees her first elimination of the season. Both Tony and Veronica saw this elimination during the actual season.
Elimination Results:
Bananas & Tori win
It’s a bit crazy to say the people who won this elimination the first time are getting eliminated when they play it again. The difference is that Bananas & Tori are superior players who are quicker and could traverse the maze much better. I will say that the Veronica/Tori match would be a photo finish. Veronica/Tony head to Redemption House.
Seventh Challenge
This was the puzzle challenge that sent CT/Cara straight to the Redemption House. In this game, there were three teams of five because there were 15 people. We will be making it into four teams of four as there are 16 in the game left. The teams were created through a random number generator.
Team 1: Bananas, Hunter, Aneesa, Nicole
Team 2: Darrell, Nelson, Jenna, Amanda
Team 3: Derrick, LeRoy, Camila, Kailah
Team 4: CT, Jordan, Cara, Tori
Winning team sends someone straight to Redemption House, and gets the nomination power. Losers go to the draw.
In this challenge, it all comes down to the puzzle. Veronica was the one to solve the puzzle the first time, so it becomes a battle of who has the best puzzle people. Nicole and Amanda are the two smartest girls in the group, but they have no help from their team. Team 4 has four people who are all at least decent when it comes to solving puzzles. CT/Cara specifically solved a similar puzzle on the final of Rivals 2 .
Team 4 takes the win due to the total teamwork. Amanda/Nicole do well, but their team blows it for them.
CT wants to send Aneesa straight to the Redemption House out of fear of running the final with her. When it comes to the guys, Cara wants to send Bananas away. They agree to the demands of CT/Cara, and send Bananas/Aneesa straight to the Redemption House.
For their nominations, they all decide to vote in Nelson as they can no longer vote in Cory. They also choose to vote in Amanda.
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Tori (facing Amanda)
Male Kill Card: Hunter (facing Nelson)
After a lot of luck, Hunter finally goes into elimination, and unfortunately it is when Nelson is in elimination. Tori gets her second consecutive kill card and faces Amanda.
Elimination Results:
Hunter and Tori win!
Amanda never stood a chance due to the size difference. She does play dirty and comes close one round by waiting for Tori to come through and blatantly trips her. Nelson beat Hunter in an elimination on Dirty 30, though if he faced him in Hall Brawl, Hunter would have been able to barrel all 200 lbs of his cannon ball sized body at him. A 2–1 match that goes in the favor of Hunter.
Eight Challenge
By winning, Tori and Hunter get to the pick the Heats and orders for the heights challenge. Tori chooses to put herself in Heat 2 with Nicole and Jenna. She puts Cara Maria, Camila, and Kailah all in the other Heat to ensure that one is eligible to be sent straight to the Redemption House. Hunter puts himself with LeRoy and Darrell, and the other Heat is with Jordan, Derrick, and CT.
Players walk across a beam and hit one of three strikes resembling another player on the board. The first strike that is struck is eligible to be voted straight into the Redemption House. The overall winner will send someone to Redemption House, and then have nomination powers later.
Male Heat 1: Jordan, CT, Derrick
— Derrick wins and hits Jordan’s strike.
Male Heat 2: LeRoy, Darrell, Hunter
— Hunter wins and hits Darrell’s strike.
Overall Winner: Hunter
Female Heat 1: Camila, Cara, Kailah
— Camila wins and hits Kailah’s strike
Female Heat 2: Tori, Jenna, Nicole
— Jenna wins and hits Nicole’s strike
Overall Winner: Jenna
Hunter votes Darrell straight to the Redemption House (to avenge Cory), and Jenna votes Nicole straight in to save Kailah. For their overall nominations, Hunter chooses to vote in CT, the biggest threat in the game, while Jenna votes in Tori (remember there’s still the Cara/Camila/Jenna/Kailah alliance in this world).
The Draw
Female Kill Card: Kailah (facing Tori)
Male Kill Card: LeRoy (facing CT)
Of course, we get Kailah and Tori against each other. After the two combined to win more than half the eliminations, the random number generator just loves to stir shit up. It also loves to put two heavyweights (CT and LeRoy) in an elimination for smaller people.
Elimination Results:
CT and Tori win!
In the match between CT and LeRoy, neither have a ton of endurance. The difference is that CT is a better overall competitor, and better at weird shit than LeRoy. He edges him out and remains in the game. Tori/Kailah’s match up is tough too. Kailah lost a somewhat similar elimination on Invasion, and Tori has great balance/footwork as a college soccer player. Tori pulls it out.
REDEMPTION 3
In the third Redemption, the guys are stacked for a wrestling tournament and filled with flops for a puzzle: LeRoy, Bananas, Darrell, Tony, and Nelson. The girls group is Veronica, Aneesa, Nicole, Amanda, and Kailah. As one of the puzzle people, Amanda is the outright favorite.
They play the same game, read a wall filled with numbers and find the combination to the lock box that contains your puzzle pieces.
Female Redemption
To protect Kailah, Jenna decides to go distract Amanda during the Redemption. Camila out of hate berates and distracts Amanda the entire time. Seriously, Camila curses and yells at Amanda the entire time. She finishes in second place to Nicole Ramos who wins as she is the next best puzzle person, except has no distractions. Veronica/Aneesa performed in this Redemption and lost to Cara, so it’s hard to expect them beating better puzzle people. Amanda, Veronica, Aneesa, and Kailah are eliminated.
Male Redemption
All of the males in this bracket are terrible at puzzles. The only person with a history of actually solving a puzzle before is Bananas. He walks away with the win and re-enters the game. Nelson, LeRoy, Tony, and Darrell are eliminated.
Second Purge
The ten remaining competitors are CT, Bananas, Hunter, Jordan, Derrick, Tori, Camila, Cara Maria, Jenna, and Nicole.
They pick their own partners for the first round:
CT/Cara Maria
Bananas/Jenna
Derrick/Camila
Jordan/Tori
Hunter/Nicole
3/5 pairs were in the original first round of the last purge. What matters is how much the players not originally there affect the game. Bananas is a major upgrade over Tony. You cannot expect either to win as they will be at best in second on the race portion, and are both significantly worse at puzzles than Jordan and Tori. Hunter not having a broken hand helps him, and Nicole being able to solve the puzzles makes the rope/math section easier. The problem is Nicole cannot run to keep up with the other girls, holding back Hunter. Hunter cannot finish the puzzle before the other guys, and Nicole gets there too late for it to matter.
Cara, CT, Jordan, and Tori all make the final again.
Purge 2 Part 2
For the girls division, Camila beat Jenna the first time. She gets it the second time.
It’s hard to tell who would win this for the guys group of Hunter, Derrick, and Bananas. Derrick won this originally. In many ways, Derrick was built to swing his body through ropes across a pipe in ninja warrior fashion. He is small and strong, very easily able to support his own body weight. Bananas is quite similar, and Hunter is the most explosive when it comes to speed and agility. It will be a battle between Hunter and Derrick. Derick is smarter at creating strategies on how to do physical challenges, and takes the clutch win.
Bananas, Hunter, Nicole, and Jenna are eliminated
The Final
Since the same six people made the final, we expect CT and Tori to finish in third like they did in the actual final. And even though it hasn’t been revealed yet, expect Jordan and Camila as the Champions of the season. At the end of the day, even with the kill card, the final results remain the same. As the person who spent a decent portion of his time creating this, I am also disappointed.
