Ex on the Beach — Actual Perfect Matches vs Show Couples

The most fascinating part about Ex on the Beach is watching people being completely attracted to others who have no regard them. The cast is so used to being the hottest person in their own circles that they do not expect rejection. Skyler and Victoria “fought” over Chase until he kind of rebuffed both of them; Victoria because he lacked interest and Skyler because of her drinking habits and immaturity. When Cameron walked into the house, they dropped Chase and fought over him, even though he didn’t show interest in either of them!!! This show is hilarious for so many different reasons, but mainly because it’s preying on existing flawed and terrible relationships, within the confines of a beach house built to manufacture drama. However, the romantic purist in me can’t help but play matchmaker when watching this show. Therefore, I will provide the perfect match for each person on the show.

Perfect Match #1 Cory and Taylor

Cory loves to have sex with pretty girls who are low maintenance. Taylor loves to have to sex and has a thing for light-skinned black guys with pretty eyes. Every single episode we see these two on top of each other, consistently having the most sex in the house. Taylor is a former school teacher and Cory has a daughter who will be in school eventually. These two people love their looks and love being on television, thus they match. We really have not gotten to see much of their relationship at all, as their problems have been limited to Alicia’s brief stint in the house.

Perfect Match #2 Skyler and Victoria

The two girls were pitted against one another for Chase and Cameron. Skyler has now left the house, and we have no clue whether Chase will suddenly be into Victoria or whether she will develop another relationship with a new arrival. None of the guys currently in the house are right for either of these girls. They are two beautiful girls who love to party. Imagine the duo on the Jersey Shore partying together, hunting for cute guys, and posting too many Snapchat stories in the club. Victoria talks a little too much and Skyler talks too little, it’s a match made in heaven.

Perfect Match #3 Chase and Lexie

Chase has a type — hot and blonde. He says he is looking to settle down with a girl who is not obsessed with getting blackout drunk. Does Lexie get blackout drunk? We do not know as she is not on camera much. Based on what we have seen, she is the most relaxed girl out of the bunch, yet she is chasing misogynist Paulie. Upgrade to the bigger and more muscular Chase and they can attend country music events and be hot white people together.

Perfect Match #4 Cameron and Faith

In many ways, Cameron is one of the more mature guys from MTV. He had an immediate spark with Mikayla on AYTO and dated her for a year after the show. Mikayla is a beautiful and sweet girl, however, Cameron is relaxed and wants to have as much fun as possible, while she wants a marriage and someone to stay in and watch Netflix with her. Faith is fun and energetic and is willing to have both a conversation and party the night away. This would have been a super cute couple.

Perfect Match #5 Chris and Chelsko

Her name is Chelsea, right? Chelsko is a name she chose to make herself more marketable? Chris consistently says Chelsea instead of Haley, so we know where his interest lies. These two are a match made in heaven. They DM people asking to be retweeted in order to get them more followers. They each create awful music and they either pay for people to run fan accounts or they made burner accounts. Seriously, every positive tweet in their replies is from accounts made in May with less than 10 followers.

Perfect Match #6 Paulie and Jasmine

If you watched Big Brother and the Bachelor, you probably expected these two to be fireballs in the Ex on the Beach house. It turns out the wildest people on CBS and ABC are actually very tame compared to the people from Bad Girls Club and MTV. The couple combines for 225k Instagram followers and a following from two major shows. This could be a financially viable relationship from a branding perspective.

Perfect Match #7 Derrick and Angela

Derrick continually finds himself in sticky situations where it looks like he is cheating. Angela is rumored to have cheated on Tor’I and even made out with Derrick out of anger when Tor’I did body shots with Faith. Angela wants Tor’I, but Derrick is probably the right guy for her. They both love being on television, they think the other has a banging body, and fans are very divided between liking and hating them.

Perfect Match #8 Tor’I and Alicia

Tor’I, what if I told you that you could get a girl with Angela’s body, except more real, and a way less dominant personality. Angela tears Tor’I up with all her fighting. Alicia might not seem like the coolest person to hang out with and all her relationships never last very long, but you know, she is a sexual person and is down for whoever is down for her.

Perfect Match #9 Hayley and Luis

Congrats, you made it on the show!

Perfect Match #10 June and Andre

We have not gotten to see much of June and we literally saw nothing of Andre besides Taylor trashing him. Just the two guys left.

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Allan Aguirre

Allan Aguirre

10.6K Followers

26 years old. I blog about MTV's the Challenge and will dabble into other subjects occasionally. Follow me on Twitter for the occasional bad joke.