Challenge Total Madness Player Preview: Jordan Wiseley
Jordan proved on War of the Worlds 2 why I and many others consider him to be the greatest player in Challenge history. In the modern era, winning has become incredibly difficult. Between Dirty 30 to War of the Worlds 1, only six people won Challenge Championships (four seasons). Compare that to the original Inferno, where eight people won at one time.
Jordan is the first player since to win three consecutive appearances since Derrick Kosinski (Inferno 3-Island-Ruins). Only four players have done it ever, and the first three were all pre-2010. Jordan has collected championships as an individual, a pair, and as part of a team, proving he can win any format. Not to mention, he currently holds the second-best male elimination record ever through eight eliminations (7–1). He is the guy you don’t want to face in a final, who you don’t want to face in a swim or puzzle, and don’t want to go up against in elimination either. After last season, you don’t want to be his enemy either. On War of the Worlds 2, Jordan took fate into his hands by turn coating against Team USA and winning eliminations to guarantee his spot in the final, where he would ensure that Cara and Paulie went home with no money. He is a petty sob who acts like he is the best and performs like it too.
Introducing Jordan: He debuted on Rivals 2 in 2013 alongside Marlon Williams. Despite Marlon being the hot prospect as he was an upper-level Division 1 college football player, Jordan proved from the jump that he was the guy you had to watch. Jordan was a 5 tool prospect who was never afraid of heights, was immediately in contention with Wes for top male swimmer, super quick on his feet, smart as a whip, and could not only run long-distances with ease, but he could do so at a fast pace. On Rivals 2, they were always competitive in the daily challenges and won two eliminations, including maybe the greatest Hall Brawl in Challenge history:
In the end, he and Marlon finished in third place against two stacked teams in Bananas/Frank and Wes/CT. Their run was ended early due to a twist where the last place team on day one would get automatically eliminated (which in retrospect kind of makes it the first purge ever). To this day, I wish all three of their had gotten to run the whole final.
On Free Agents, Jordan fed off his ego too much and became insistent on taking out Johnny Bananas because Jordan didn’t believe he was worth the hype. Then Jordan pulled one of the most infamous moves in Challenge history by removing all the kill cards to face Bananas in elimination. Jordan did this despite knowing the elimination was Wrecking Wall, a game where he had a massive disadvantage due to his disability. He got eliminated, and it was for the best because it didn’t humble Jordan, but it taught him how to play the game.
During Exes 2, Jordan let Sarah run the game politically and strategically for them. They were at the top in daily challenges for most of the season (trailing Wes and Theresa). In the end-game, they won a clutch elimination against Zach and Jonna, and then the final two daily challenges to make the final. They destroyed the other teams on day 1 of the final and took home the win on day 2.
When Jordan came back for Dirty 30, he had no real alliances and played the game as a true individual. He did pretty averagely throughout the season until forced to compete. Hunter won a challenge that granted him the right to purge someone and chose Jordan. Jordan won the redemption back into the game and then earned a spot in the final during the final purge. In the final, Jordan faced 2x Champion CT and 3x Champion Derrick. Despite fracturing a bone in his leg from a failed skydive, Jordan completely outpaced the other two men for the entire duration of the final. He took home 450k dollars and begun a relationship with Ms. Tori Deal.
He came back for War of the Worlds 2 to help Tori get a win, and because he enjoys the free money that comes with winning. Team USA was dominating the game, but Jordan did not like this time and viewed a majority of the team to be “lay-ups.” He especially did not want to help Cara Maria become a 3x Champion and to win any money from work he put in. Jordan and Tori turncoated won two eliminations each, got engaged, and then won a final they destroyed. Except Tori was left off the final boat in the end because they both could not complete a puzzle before Rogan, CT, or Dee. Jordan is back again, and he wants Tori to win more than anything.
The only thing left on Jordan’s bucket list is to get Tori a win and to beat Johnny Bananas in a final.
Player Vitals
Jordan Wiseley: 29 Years Old, 5'10, 7–1 Elimination Record, 5 Seasons, 3x Champion (Exes 2, Dirty 30, War of the Worlds 2), 4x Finalist
Skills and Physical Strength: Jordan is currently younger than CT was back when CT committed the backpack on Johnny Bananas. Take that in for a second. CT, Bananas, and Wes are the three biggest threats to Jordan this season, and they are all on the decline of their careers. In theory, Jordan still has room to get better.
In terms of daily challenges, Jordan is above average, but historically, he hasn’t been as dominant as you’d expect. When the challenges are solo and purely physical, he shines bright. Put Jordan in a swim or a race; then, he will shine. He won’t ever come in last place during a purge.
His pedigree as an athlete is very high. In high school, Jordan’s main focus was baseball. He had interest from colleges and the Detroit Tigers, but after he had to get Tommy John surgery, he decided baseball would not be smart long-term. Jordan was also a national champion cheerleader in High School. While at Central Oklahoma University, he walked on and made the team as a quarterback. He also won a national title in wakeboarding while in college. Jordan is the Bo Jackson of the Challenge. The guy can get physical, he is good on land and sea, and is ridiculously athletic in terms of speed and explosiveness.
The hand disability has hampered him specific challenges, yet, he’s still been one of the best to play the game. Jordan’s cardio is his biggest asset. Whereas many top players have the cardio to complete a final, Jordan can complete a final while going at a fast pace. Derrick is in the best shape of his life, and he is a great athlete, but he couldn’t keep up with Jordan.
SSMP (Social, Strategic, Mental, and Political) Game: He enters the season with fiance Tori, and has been friends with Nany for a long time. Jordan also has Bananas on his side, as well as Jenny and Josh. On Dirty 30, Jordan was friends with Kailah, but it’s been a long time since then. Jordan does not have a ton of friendships, but he is friends with good loyal players. He also has the advantage of being Jordan. Someone like Kyle wouldn’t make a move against Jordan because he is too afraid. Players like Bear and Nelson will get consumed with going after Wes and Bananas. CT is someone who knows how good Jordan is but would fear putting a giant target on himself by actively going after Jordan.
As the game stands, Wes and maybe a late-game Bananas are the only two people with the balls to go after Jordan. Jordan only needs to play a decent social and political game to ensure that Tori doesn’t get too big of a target because of his actions. Mentally, Jordan has always been above average. He isn’t the first to solve puzzles often, but he’s usually second or third.
Eliminations & Winning Potential: In terms of headbangers, Jordan has won Hall Brawl. On Vendettas, he beat Shane in a Pole Wrestle type elimination as a mercenary. He beat Josh in a tug of war, only using one arm and his brain. And of course, Jordan has proved to be the modern-day Gallagher by dominating sledgehammer eliminations.
Jordan would lose to someone like CT in a Hall Brawl or Pole Wrestle, but the facts are, Jordan has overcome the odds again and again. Eliminations are 50–50. Jordan going 7–1 (8–1 if you included his mercenary win) in eliminations is proof that the guy is an absolute winner.
Can Jordan win? If he gets to the final, he will win. The only way you can stop Jordan is by throwing him into elimination against someone much bigger, and the elimination requiring two hands. Everyone on this season should focus on getting Jordan out because if they don’t, they lose.
